red

I painted my nails red today hoping it would ease how much I miss you. Looking at them this bright reminds me of you. It reminds me of the first time I painted them this colour – I felt a little unsure but when you held my hand and I saw your fingers through my red nails I knew I was safe. I met your grandma that day. I remember panicking at what she would think when she’d see my nails! But, once again, you made it all okay. I painted my nails red today because it doesn’t matter if my hands are those of a woman or of a little girl. When I’m with you my hands are my own and that’s enough.

I painted my nails red today because whenever I feel bad I think of us in bed together, you watching wrestling while I sit by your side painting my fingernails.

~~*~~
listening to Iguais [Jorge Cruz feat. Fátima Serro] playing in loop in my mind